Saturday, June 15, 2013
Without doubts, many marriages witness hot, warm and cold moments in their love life. Many couples file for divorce every passing moment. Getting married is fairly easy but sustaining the marriage is the most difficult aspect of it all. There are moments of joy, peace and serenity and there are moments of pains, cry and desire to quit. The question is when tension arises and either of the partners request for divorce, what does the other partner do? Do you just go ahead and agree to divorce? Or do you make efforts at restoring what is missing in the marriage? What in the first place makes couples who have vowed at the altar to love each other until death separate from each other? Whatever happens to the first love that led to the marriage?
These are pertinent questions that deserve quality answers. How do you stop your husband from continuing with the divorce process he has started? The truth is yours is perhaps not the worst case. If people have returned from divorce to a more strengthened and enduring marriage, then it is possible to call your husband to order and stop him from proceeding with the divorce he has threatened. The question however, is what methods do you apply to change your husband's mind? How do you suddenly make him find meaning in the marriage he no longer believes in? How can you stop your husband from breaking up with you?
The use of dialogue cannot be over emphasized at this point. Through dialogue the wrongs can be made right. Your husband can be called to his senses. You may want to ask how possible it will be for you now that he doesn't even want to see you. Dialogue is not synonymous with confrontation. So, you are not called upon to quarrel with him or challenge his decision. You only need to get across to him either through his closest family members or friends. They are in the good position to bring you together for discussions and clarification of issues.
Once a room has been given to communication, then hope of reconciliation can be achieved. Through communication, you can now iron out issues. But whatever blames he apportions to you, make sure you don't argue. This is not the time for self righteousness. It is the time to get him back. Make him feel he is right and you are wrong. Take note of what he complains about during quarrel settlement and make sure you work on yourself when you are back in good terms. This is to prevent future recurrence.
Having got him back, you need to keep him for the rest of your life. How do you do that? You have to bring back the past good memories. You have to rekindle the flame of your first love. You have to restore romance to the marriage.
Buy him flowers to show that you love him. Bridge the communication gap that threatened to collapse the marriage. Employ the various methods of communication that is possible. Sending him a text message while he is at work is a romantic way to tell him that you thought of him. Don't hesitate to call him to know where he is if he has not shown up at the appropriate time. It is just a sign that you care about him and that the family is not complete without him.
A divorce can be stopped at any stage—before it’s filed or just before it needs the final paperwork. It is better to stop divorce plans at its initial stage.To do this, you have to convince your partner to give the relationship another try. This isn’t always possible, but it’s perfectly necessary if you have a chance of stopping a divorce.
If you have been begging the other person to give you another try or get back together with you, it's time to stop. This might convince him/her that filing for divorce was right after all and this might boost her ego and the decision to divorce you.
If you start behaving more pleasantly and maturely, it might surprise the other person and help stop divorce. Explain that you really don’t want the divorce and you want another chance in a calm way because screaming or carrying on won’t help your chances. Just make it clear that you’re hurt, sad, and really want another chance. This might have a positive outcome.
You can also display some maturity that the other person might not have seen over a long period of time and then suggest marital counseling to stop divorce. Counseling has worked for millions of couples and you too could benefit from it. If both of you make it to couples counseling, chances are that you will be able to convince them to give you and the relationship another chance.
During counseling you’ll have the opportunity to show the person why you both went into the relationship and what has kept you together along the way. And if you can show honest effort in wanting to deal with the problems that come up during the counseling, that might be enough to convince the other person not only to stop divorce temporarily, but completely.
When you succeed in stopping divorce, you must be careful because any mistake on your part would make it easy for them to change their mind and file for divorce again. Having already thought about divorce and maybe even having gone far enough as to file for it once makes the decision to file again easier. So be aware of the state of your relationship, and perhaps continue counseling. It’s easier to stop divorce temporarily than to have a good relationship for the long term.